1. Turn chair to face dummy, which is currently wearing kimono top.
  2. Attempt to stare dummy down.
  3. Aimlessly surf Internet for several hours.
  4. See if dummy is still wearing kimono.
  5. Sigh.
  6. Wrestle kimono off dummy and put on own body. Stare at self in mirror.
  7. Realize top is actually pretty cool and does not need complete rework. Feel tremendous relief that self is sexier than dummy. Decide to keep kimono neckline placement as-is.
  8. Strike various poses in front of mirror for short period of time.
  9. Eat lunch.
  10. Reinforce neckline with tricot stitch; trim close to stitches with pinking shears to reduce fray.
  11. Decide to bind edge either with some kind of trim or with serger, because self loves look of raw serged edges of things.
  12. Reject big fuzzy pompom trim. For now.
  13. Decide on wide, black satin blanket binding.
  14. Realize now would be a good time to start taking pictures. Decide to use new $16 Aukley lens for first time.
  15. Ah. Even tiny iPhone lenses have lens caps. Apparently.
  16. What’s up with this single fold BS on wide satin blanket trim?
  17. Ponder.
  18. Ponder some more.
  19. Realize now would be a good time to begin documenting how this is going.
  20. Begin Google search to find out if satin blanket trim is actually a cruel joke stores play on unemployed, inexperienced seamstresses with sewing obsessions.
  21. Cannot find search term that results in examples of satin blanket binding used on necklines. Give up and watch YouTube video of how to attach to blanket, instead.
  22. Realize have stumbled upon possibly the easiest way I could ever possibly finish a neckline.
  23. Wonder if I will become an Internet sewing sensation because of my satin blanket neckline binding technique. Briefly imagine celebrity and resulting book deals.
  24. Place kimono flat on kitchen table and attempt to begin pinning binding to neckline.
  25. Kimono squirms and attempts to slither off table.
  26. Attempt to hold kimono in place with thighs while forcing enough binding material off roll to curve around neckline.
  27. Manage to pin end to center back.
  28. Kimono wads itself up in ball in attempt to thwart further pinning as blanket binding roll taunts self with bulk and girth.
  29. Realize now would be an excellent time to make use of unsexy dress form dummy.
  30. Force kimono over floppy dummy armholes.
  31. Neckline now fluttering. Self concerned.
  32. Begin to question physics of kimono neckline binding.
  33. Take break.
  34. Have vague recollection of reading about this problem in an old sewing book, which recommended “gently encouraging” binding around curves. Scoff. Decide to try pining with one side open, initially.
  35. Pause to take picture and make note of impending sense of doom, prior to “gently encouraging” other side of binding to lay down inside kimono.
  36. Doom now gathering speed. Kimono evidently attempting to escape fate by simply flopping this way and that as binding turned down inside neckline.
  37. Momentarily recall shop owner mentioning how much this particular fabric seems to stretch out even with simple handing while sewing.
  38. Realize neckline is now so wide it is in danger of sliding off shoulders of dummy. Decide to ignore.
  39. Consider drawstring for neckline. Reject idea.
  40. Begin to understand how some collar shapes might have been “invented”.
  41. Make drastic decision.
  42. Say hello to serger. Serger yawns sleepily.
  43. Realize now would be a good time to figure out how to use serger without built-in cutter.
  44. Ignore realization.
  45. Test on scrap. Decide to change thread color.
  46. Attempt to locate reading glasses so self can rethread serger. Realize just an excuse because serger rethread intimidating.
  47. Rethread serger.
  48. After a couple of test runs on scrap, take a deep breath and serge left front cut.
  49. Serger comes unthreaded and doesn’t sew anything.
  50. Realize I’ve just left another 1/4 inch of the neckline on the floor.
  51. Put serger away and retrieve funky Hawaiian satin trim. Pin to left neckline.
  52. Kimono, having given up entirely, suddenly perks up.
  53. Kimono sighs in frustration as I take another break to figure out what to do with the front: create a new seam, or create a kimono cardigan?
  54. Consider seeking assistance from blog readership.
  55. Realize I do not have a blog readership because I never let anybody know I exist except for Oonaballooona and one of her followers.
  56. Realize I cannot contact Ooonaballoona or her follower directly because I changed settings on blog to not require an email address to post comments.
  57. Decide to make leap and publicize blog to ask for help and suggestions.