I got up this morning only to discover that we had no Internet. I remembered Paco being on the phone with Time Warner when I went to bed so I woke him up to ask what was going on and he told me the Internet was broken. Then he asked me to check our TV because “the cable stopped working, too. They think AT&T broke a line when they were drilling.” I rushed to the TV but couldn’t get a single channel.

I panicked.

I starting writing in my journal, and I wanted to use an emoticon to express my horror, but then I realized I didn’t know what the emoticon for horror is, so I had to draw a cartoon.

I can't even spell without the Internet.

I can’t even spell without the Internet.

Even Junioretta panicked, scratching at my thigh like, “OMG, what will we do? What will happen? Can you even get dog food without the Internet?”, so I picked her up and cradled her in my arms.

“It’s OK, baby. Paco and I existed before the Internet.”

And then I started thinking about it, and I realized the Internet is totally responsible for Paco not making music and me not sewing. And I became convinced that what we need to do is go a whole month without cable or the Internet. Imagine the board and card games we would play! The music Paco would compose! The pants I would make! Not only that, but we would be forced to socialize at local Internet hot spots and would actually see REAL LIVE PEOPLE AGAIN.

But then Time Warner called and said they found the problem and it was actually in their servers, and now everything’s working again. So I am left with my memories of a cable and Internet-free world.

Alas.